I didn’t get adoption until I had kids

I always admired people who adopted kids. But I didn’t think it was for me somehow. When my husband and I struggled with infertility, we decided that we wouldn’t go to extraordinary lengths to have children. No IVF or surrogacy for us.

We decided that if it wasn’t meant to happen, we would be childless and make that life work. I couldn’t picture adopting.

But then I did get pregnant with a little bit of help from a wonderful little pill called Clomid. Katherine was born in 1996, and I felt a love for her unlike any other in my life at the time. It knocked me for a loop and I just went with it. I was an older mom and truly appreciated the moments with her.

Over time, I realized that this love grew and became time-tested. That just taking care of a little person builds that love. It had little to do with her being mine. I was shocked to realize this but I understood that I could love an adopted child in the same way. I finally got it at age 38. We even discussed adoption when we dared to speak of more children after I had our son Brendan at 40 (no Clomid!).

I see the same kind of love with people and their pets. They take care of these little creatures and grow to love them as they do. It is a beautiful thing. It is the time you spend taking care of these helpless children or animals that makes the bond grow.

All I can say is I was a little out of it about these things and didn’t understand how love can happen. Our dog is a rescue and I love him to pieces. It was so hard at first (he was a traumatized ex-racing greyhound with PTSD). It took time and patience but he blossomed and now he is a sweetheart who loves and trusts us.