Grief is a part of all of our lives. If you are human, you will lose someone you love at some point. You will also lose pets, jobs, partners, hopes and dreams. Grief is a thread that runs through our lives. Sooner or later, it will wind around you.
These last two years have brought the shadow of grief to a lot of people. Some have lost loved ones (and were not able to be with them when they died), some grieve the life they had before, some lost jobs. It was a sad and difficult time for many people.
I didn’t know intense grief until I was 43 years old and lost my mother suddenly and tragically. It was a really hard time, I had two small children, and I didn’t deal well with it. My husband was there for us thank goodness.
I talk in more depth about grief in two short solo episodes on my podcast “The Storied Human,” if you want to read more about that journey — Episodes 6 and 7. There are tips offered in both episodes and links to helpful resources in the Show Notes.
As hard as feeling grief can be, at least you feel that you are keeping the memory of your loved one alive. For me, as a daughter, it felt like my duty to remember my mom.
One of the hardest days in your journey through grief can be the first day you realize that you have stopped thinking about your loved one all the time. In fact, you haven’t thought of them in days. Of course this is a GOOD thing, you are starting to reach a more normal way of living. But it is profoundly sad too the first time you realize this.
I realized this today. I saw search terms in history when I tried to Google something this morning and I saw the search I had done to look for my friend’s obituary. I said to myself “that’s right, he is gone.” I had almost forgotten for a moment. John was one of my closest friends for most of my adult life. He was so much more than a friend, he was part of me, the way some friends are. He died in 2020 and I wasn’t allowed to go to his funeral due to Covid. My whole family loved him and were sad they could not say goodbye.
I have reached a place where I have placed his memory farther back in my memory. It is a healthy thing, but still a bit sad. Still I hold him in my heart.
